Getting Trampled at the Rodeo

I live in a small town in Utah and this past weekend was the annual rodeo. Growing up outside of Washington, DC (in Northern, Virginia) didn’t give me a chance to attend too many rodeos so I jumped at the chance to go and the wife obliged.

We watched the cowboys rope calves and ride the broncos but the best part of the night, by far, is what is called the “cash cow.” Now I want you to picture this:

They make an announcement over the loudspeaker to have all 5-9 year olds gather at one end of the arena. They say they’re going to release a calf and the kids are supposed to chase the calf, which has $1 bills taped all over it.

Well, sure enough…

The kids gather and they release the calf and it runs away from all of the kids. But then it turns around and starts heading towards this massive line of about 50 kids. The calf doesn’t stop and begins to plow through the kids sending them flying.

At first, it’s the most hilarious thing I’ve ever seen, but then the calf gets angry and kicks a little girl in the stomach and the cowboys have to jump over the fence and protect these kids from the angry calf that is running them over.

Thankfully, none of the kids were seriously injured and everyone was okay, and it is still the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. I’d love to know how that brainstorming session went for the guys who came up with this idea. “Hey Bill, I’ve got a brilliant idea, let’s tape money to a 200 pound calf and have 5 year olds chase it. What could go wrong?”

The point of telling you about the craziness of the rodeo is that it’s nice to live in a place where lawyers and uptight people haven’t taken over. I remember as soon as I saw the calf running over kids, I thought to myself, “this would never happen in Northern Virginia, too many lawyers.”

It’s also nice to live in a place where people value their safety and a large majority of them carry guns. I guess what I’m really trying to say is that I get a lot of emails from people who complain about where they live, especially folks living in California.

I realize if you’ve got a job or kids in school that it’s not so simple to just pick up and relocate. However, one day your kids will be out of school, you’ll find a new job or you’ll retire. When this time comes I encourage you to get out of the cities (especially major cities) and find yourself a nice small town where people share your values.

More importantly, when the major economic collapse occurs (sometime before 2025) you don’t want to be surrounded by a huge population, the majority of whom will be unprepared and end up looting and rioting.

So maybe this week, even if it’s just for the fun of it, you should start looking for the small town you wish to live in one day, where people will compliment you on carrying a gun, instead of acting horrified.